The Boss & His Employees

If this ain't crystal clear by now, you need your freakin' head examined.

Heck, even the Japanese know it. Turn it up loud.

The Boss Is The Boss For A Reason

All you people whinin' about Bruce's performance at the Super Bowl? Fornicate with something sharp and rusty.

It's kinda tough to replicate over 30 years of the best live show on earth in just 12 minutes at halftime.

So, here's a lil' taste. And I don't care if he's gettin' older. He's gettin' better.

Just like me. Despite some really crappy energy vampires vexing my soul for the holidays.

Dig It, Cats!!!!

One can never reinforce the rampant, uncontrolled genius and thrills of Elvis Costello.

Here's how I'm viewing the upcoming year. With great tunes and smokin' hot go-go dancers. Again.

Elvis Costello is on my MySpace friends list, you know, which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt how tight we are.

I'm Making 2009 My Bitch

OK, 2008 was a fucking downer. Right up through Christmas.

Isn't Christmas supposed to be really cheery and jolly and full of fairy-tale benevolence on the part of my fellow man?

Well, my fellow man didn't get the god damn memo this year.

Anyway, rather than doing even more bitching and moaning and beamoaning, I'm making 2009 my bitch. I mean, I'm putting a choker collar on it, forcing it to eat dog food from a dirty bowl, and having it do my bidding at every turn.

Thus, the freelance juggernaut will reload and emerge once more victorious.

I'm just sayin'.

Listen To What I Am Fucking Saying, Please

I have experienced a phenomenon I experienced several times this past really miserable year--all with formerly good friends.

That is, when I say very direct, very finite, very demonstrative things, THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO ONE FUCKING WORD I SAY.

I do not believe that I am vague, or generalizing, or meandering when I speak or when I write. I think I'm relatively surgical about the shit.

And, being a grown man, I believe that I am an expert on me. And my wishes.

Happy Holidays From The Rules Of Stupid

OK, folks. Lots of changes at The Rules Of Stupid.

Still doing lots of advertising. Still violently opinionated. Just too busy to post. It goes like that. A few months on, a few off.

However, I want to wish everyone the happiest holiday ever. And the best way I can do that is with this timeless holiday treasure. The baton being passed from one giant popular music icon of his era, to another.

I really dig their effortless Old Hollywood patter before they sing.

Enjoy. Peace on earth. Good will toward men. (Except Dave McLane.)

Edie Adams Times Three

She's all three of them.

Rudy Ray Moore-DOLEMITE!

The Greatness Of Rudy Ray Moore

Trailer for The Human Tornado. Rudy Ray does the voiceover. No more needs be said.

Gone But Never Forgotten-Rudy Ray Moore

This is a rough patch for The Rules of Stupid.

Rudy Ray Moore--DOLEMITE--was the king of cool. The Blaxplotation king. If you even owned one of his records--hell, if you knew the LOCATION of a Rudy Ray Moore record, your status rose immeasurably in my neighborhood.

He will be missed.

AKRON, Ohio (AP) -- Rudy Ray Moore, a raunchy 1970s comedian who played the title role of a flashy pimp in the movie "Dolemite" and influenced a generation of rappers, has died. He was 81.

Moore died Sunday evening at an Akron nursing home from complications of diabetes, said his brother, Gerald Moore.

Moore was part of the heyday of African-American "party records." His stage personality featured blunt sex routines but, unlike contemporaries Redd Foxx and Richard Pryor, he never crossed over to mainstream white audiences.

The Washington Post said in a 1992 profile that Moore was "an astounding renderer of 'toasts,' -- elaborately boastful, profane and scatological tales of life in the old-style urban subculture of pimps, prostitutes, gamblers and badmen. His husky, down-home voice is ideal for it."

Moore said he developed the style, later a feature of rap music, by listening to men sitting outside joints "drinking beer and lying and talking [expletive]."

Moore played the fast-talking pimp and title character in the 1975 film "Dolemite." In later years Moore collaborated with 2 Live Crew, Big Daddy Kane and Snoop Dogg.

Moore's other acting credits during the "Blaxploitation" era of black action films included "The Human Tornado" in 1976 and "Disco Godfather" in 1979.